My Life A to Z

I'm Wondering If People Know How Much Work It Is

2008-06-16T17:38:00.000-07:00

If you are a dedicated reader of this not-updated-nearly-enough-to-expect-loyal-readers blog, you know that Greg and I founded and run a nonprofit organization called Pro vs. GI Joe. There have been times when I've written about how proud we are of it - and that's true. I've also written about progress we've made - and that's true. But I've never elaborated on just how difficult it is to get a NONPROFIT (meaning, NO PROFIT) organization up and running. Especially one that requires advanced technology, access to celebrities and professional athletes (often times with annoying and aggressive publicists and managers in the way), and cooperation from our military at war. Oh, and there are just two of us working the beat - in addition to other jobs that actually pay the bills.

Now, I'm not saying this to warrant pity. I'm just not sure, based on conversations I've had recently, that people realize how much work it is. Because we are a nonprofit, we rely solely on donations, contributions and more than anything else, a belief in what we are doing.

In case you don't know, this is what we do: We set up real-time video game competitions between professional athletes in the states and troops stationed overseas via the internet using XBox Live. Basically, we connect soldiers to athletes in real-time for some good hearted and fun competition!

Sounds like it should be cut and dry, right? Not so much.

First you have to have a website because when you talk to people about your biz, they understandably ask to be directed to it. Good websites, the kind that give you some cred, are not cheap. So then you have to basically pitch your nonprofit to a company that produces them and hope they believe in what you do - and HOPE they donate it out of the goodness of their heart. We found that with AWS Sports (our FIRST believer!!), though there was some cost to us. Then you have to file for the 501c3 status with the Federal Government and it is not easy - especially when you have little to no experience in the nonprofit world! That also costs hundreds of dollars - and there is no donation for this!

So once you're a few thousand dollars in the hole, you can start making calls to companies and corporations you feel would appreciate what you're offering people - in this case, our troops. That is about as easy as getting a professional athlete on the phone. It's incredibly difficult and requires tenacity, persistence, and a certain amount of bravery. You also have to be on your game because their time is valuable and if you do get them on the phone, your first pitch has to be a good one. I've spent a lot of time speaking in front of people, but it's daunting knowing that if you don't sell it quickly, you will lose them quickly...and you NEED these people because you are hoping to use THEIR resources (product and money) to grow your organization.

Bottom line is, a year after coming up with the idea, we are now planning our first competition between professional athlete and soldiers stationed in Iraq. The road we've taken to get here has been challenging, frustrating, tiresome, and awesome...and we've got a lot of people and companies on our team...but we need more.

We need donations. We need financial sponsorships. We need athletes. We need celebrities. We need more website traffic.

I'm not expecting people to open up their wallets and purses and give it all to us! I guess I just want people to know that when you dedicate yourself to improving the lives of others, it's a lot of work - and in the nonprofit world, there is little to no compensation for the work you do. And trying to figure out how to get money in order to make your vision a reality is trial and error...and soooo hard to figure out. You basically have to go to a company and/or corporation and tell them why they should spend their money on you instead of the hundreds of others that ask for it.

AND WE HAVE A SUPPORT-THE-TROOPS NONPROFIT ORGANIZATION DURING A VERY UNPOPLULAR WAR!

Most people know the difference between supporting the war and supporting the troops but believe me, some people don't!! And when you finally get someone on the phone and you say you're from a "nonprofit organization" [translation: "we want free stuff"], they are immediately skeptical!

I could go on and on about the challenges and I probably will as we plan events and travel the country connecting our GI JOES to our PROS. It's incredibly rewarding and we do it because we KNOW we are unique. We KNOW you will love it. We KNOW the athletes and celebrities will love it. We KNOW the companies/corporations will love it.

But most of all, WE KNOW OUR TROOPS DESERVE IT.

www.prosvsgijoes.org

I'm On A Jet Plane

2008-05-04T07:03:00.000-07:00

I'm leaving Iraq tonight...and should be home in about two weeks. I will follow this up with a longer post very soon but I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who read this during my deployment. I didn't post nearly as much as I'd hoped I would but I won't stop simply because I am leaving. There are still stories to tell and I will post them here.

More from Kuwait...

Fallen Soldier’s Family Shows Iraqis Love

2008-04-22T14:30:00.000-07:00

I love this family. I would like to think I could be this selfless if ever tested the way the Barnes family has been. I don't need to explain it now; just read this story written by Staff Sergeant Tony Lindback from the 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault). This is an incredible family....and an amazing community. It's just unbelievable.

PATROL BASE YUSIFIYAH, Iraq – Whoever said violence begets more violence never met the family of Sgt. Nathan Barnes. American Fork, Utah, native Sgt. Nathan Barnes, a Soldier with 4th Battalion, 31st Infantry Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 10th Mountain Division, was killed in Rushdi Mullah, Iraq, when his unit came under attack by small-arms fire July 17. Rather than hold bitterness toward the people of a foreign land where their son died, Barnes’ family is embracing them. Barnes often sent home photos of children in the areas he served. His father, Kevin, said Nathan truly loved the Iraqi children. Nathan’s love for those children inspired his father and other residents of American Fork to collect enough donated items to fill a 40-foot shipping container. Sewing machines, book bags, newborn kits, personal hygiene items, food, toys, children and women’s clothing, school supplies and even wheelchairs were donated to residents in and around Rushdi Mullah and Yusifiyah, places Barnes did most of his service in Iraq. Rushdi Mullah, where Barnes was killed, is one of the communities now supported by Rakkasan Soldiers of 3rd Battalion, 187th Infantry Regiment, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault). The Rakkasans took on the task of distributing the items once the shipping container arrived in Iraq. Company C, 3-187th Inf. Regt., distributed some of the gifts at a school in Mullah Fayad, an impoverished Yusifiyah community. Santa Barbara, Calif., native 1st Lt. Casey Zimmerman, who helped hand out the donations at the school, wanted everyone to know the source of the aid. “I made a point at the beginning to convey who Nathan Barnes was, how he died, and what kind of loving family and country he belonged to,” Zimmerman said. “I bet we saw over 1,500 men, women, and children – mostly children.” The generosity of the Barnes family and the American Fork community led to a similar address in Rushdi Mullah by Brig. Gen. Ali Jassim Muhammad Hassen Al Frejee, commander of the 25th Brigade, 6th Iraqi Army Division. “A Soldier who came from thousands of miles away and was killed here – his family spends money to rebuild this area,” Ali said. “We have to respect that.” Capt. Clifford Kazmarek, commander of Company B, 3-187th Inf. Regt., said the experience was remarkable and humbling. “I have just the greatest amount of respect for that family for doing this, and I know that the people here truly appreciate it,” Kazmarek said. The citizens received most items with a smile and without hesitation. But there was one gift that had many children puzzled. “The Frisbee befuddled them,” said Pittsburgh native Capt. Michael Starz, commander of Co. C, 3-187th Inf. Regt. “They didn’t quite grasp the concept. They thought it was a serving plate so we had to engage with the kids for a few throws until they got the idea. In the end, though, they still said, ‘Where’s the football?’” There were many footballs – soccer balls to Americans – handed out as well. Thousands of Iraqis from Rushdi Mullah and Mullah Fayad benefited from the generosity. “I never imagined a family – American or otherwise – could provide unmitigated charity to the people of a foreign town in which their son was killed,” Zimmerman said. “The Barnes family and those who have contributed to their noble foundation are true testaments to America's values.”

God Bless Nathan and his family. Thank you for your sacrifice and kindness.

Something I Should've Done Months Ago

2008-04-21T14:37:00.000-07:00

Every day I spend here in Iraq, I hear (but mostly read) stories about the GOOD things that are happening in this country. No, I am not hearing it from one of the four televisions perched up on the wall in the Media Operations Center at 3rd Infantry Division Headquarters in Baghdad. No, no, that would be silly. That would mean one of the Big Four networks would break from the norm and actually produce a story on the progress being made. Let me also say I realize that stories about the new Fish Farm Association in North Babil that employs thousands of local citizens to produce seven million pounds of much needed fish for Baghdad residents isn't as sexy as a story about a female suicide bomber strapping on a vest and killing herself and several Iraqis in their home. I get it. I make my living in television. I like to think I have a good understanding of what will and won't make the news.

But that doesn't make my job any easier.

In addition to being a journalist, I am also responsible for Media Relations. In fact, that is ALL I do down here under the 3rd Infantry Division. My job is to push our story to local and national media outlets as well as the Baghdad Bureaus here in Iraq. Let me just say this: it is no easy task.

Day in and day out, I sit behind a desk and call, email, and schmooze Baghdad media so they'll pay attention to the progress being made in the 3rd Infantry Division's Area of Operation - an area rougly the size of West Virginia.

3ID is part of last year's surge. It is the main division efforting (I don't know if this is a verb the military made up or a real word but I use "efforting" a lot here) the surge. 3ID's mission is to block accelerants (insurgents/terrorists/militias) into Baghdad, secure the population, and defeat sectarian violence in order to create conditions for long term Iraqi self-reliance.

For almost 14 months now, with almost 20,000 soldiers, 3ID has served remarkably, kicking down doors of terrorist safehouses, killing the enemy while protecting the popoulation, living on barely functioning patrol bases and combat outposts established in order to live among Iraqi communities (to better protect citizens from terrorists/insurgents). They are basically sacrificing the comforts and relative safety offered on a FOB (Forward Operation Base) to ensure a more stable life for Iraqis.

I don't say this to garner sympathy and/or pity for these soldiers; I say this to paint a better picture about what life is like out here.

The point is, that despite all the horrid images you see on the news - things that DEFINITELY occur out here - there are small miracles happening every day as well - and somewhere, in some province or holy city or farming community, SOLDIERS are providing a better life for IRAQIS. I'm telling you, it's happening. That doesn't mean the bad stuff isn't important...it is...but so are these stories and though you rarely hear about them, they are happening.

How do I know this if I am sitting behind a desk? Because every day, military journalists (myself included) risk their lives to tell the stories the mainstream media are reluctant to tell. I'm not naive; I get WHY they don't tell these stories. There are limited minutes and more important stories in the world to tell; If it bleeds, it leads; Polygamists, Popes, and Primaries take the top slots. Believe me, I get it. And I don't think everyone is reluctant to tell the stories; just the ones who ultimately make the decisions.

So that is why I've decided, in all of my frustration in not being able to deliver good news to Major Conway (truly, the best media relations officer I've ever met in the military and my boss), that I would post the good stories I can't sell to the Big Four on my blog.

I may have a relatively small audience, but if you spread the word, perhaps the audience will grow and the Big Four will see there are people out there who care about what we, the SOLDIERS, are doing EVERY SINGLE DAY to make this a better place for the people of Iraq. For us, it's not about politics; it's about caring and helping and compassion. It's about the value of another human life.

It's no wonder the powers-that-be at the Big Four aren't sold on these stories. They aren't the ones meeting these wonderful men and women, children, babies - Iraqis...touching them, hugging them, drinking chai with them, rebuilding with them, talking with them. They have no idea what their life is like, what OUR life is like.

So since they won't tell our story, we will. I should have done this months ago.

The following is a story written by SGT Kevin Stabinsky of the 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 3rd Infantry Division on FOB Kalsu, Iraq. This is a wonderful story and not one media outlet picked up on it, despite my best efforts. From now on, I will post these stories here...and I ask you to spread the word if they touch you...or even if they don't. This is the kind of work your American soldiers do in addition to ridding this place of bad guys. They deserve recognition.

FORWARD OPERATING BASE KALSU, Iraq - Her hands run across his hand, her fingers explore his features. She asks her father: Is he fat or skinny? Tall or short? She is trying to learn about the man she cannot see, the one who strives to end the mystery surrounding him and the world around her. First Lt. Michael Kendrick, platoon leader of 2nd Platoon, Company D, 1st Battalion, 30th Infantry Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 3rd Infantry Division, said it is his goal to replace the mental picture young Noor Taha Najee has of her father with the actual image. Noor, a 5-year-old girl who lives in al Buaytha, has been blind since birth, a condition caused by poorly-developed corneas, said her father Taha. It is a problem which runs in the family. Taha's brother, Mustafa, also suffers from the birth defect, one that prevents the eyes from registering anything other than light sensitivity. Although the condition is genetic, it is one that can be fixed through surgery. Kendrick, a native of Phoenix, Ariz., and his unit have been working closely with doctors to try to get something done for the family. "To have her see her family, her brothers, to put a face to the voice, it would be a blessing," Taha said of the opportunity to help give sight to his daughter and brother. The Eye Defects Research Foundation, a nongovernmental organization based in Los Angeles, is already trying to schedule a surgery for the girl. On March 14, the Soldiers took Noor and her uncle to the 86th Combat Support Hospital in Baghdad to get an evaluation done on the two, which showed a higher potential for success with Noor. "We're on standby now, waiting for a doctor in L.A.," Kendrick said. He said they are now trying to find a local Iraqi doctor who would be willing to travel with Noor and her family to California. An Iraqi doctor is needed who could be shown the necessary follow-up care. Such a gift would seem appropriate for a girl who is described as very generous and giving by her father. "She's different from many other kids," Taha said. "She's always sharing. She'll give you anything." It is a personality trait which has endeared her to the 2nd Platoon Soldiers. "We've taken a real vested interest in the people here," Kendrick said, adding his Soldiers spend a lot of time on the ground, interacting with residents. "We empathize with the people. It pays dividends winning the hearts and minds. It keeps things quiet." Noor has developed quite an attachment to Kendrick, Taha said. "She likes to sit by him, and is always asking me about him and loves it when I tell her stories about him," he said. "She's only like that with Kendrick." As a father of two young girls himself - Presley, 3, and Parker, 1, Kendrick said he knows the importance of family and providing for them. While she may not be able to see what the Soldiers are doing for her, Taha said Noor can definitely sense the good will of Kendrick's platoon. "Love begins in the mind, not the eyes," Taha said.

Snapshot Of My Life

2008-04-17T23:38:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the sandiest day I've spent in the two years I have lived in this country. Unfortunately, it was also the day we packed all of our equipment in the Connex and we had to be outside ALL DAY LONG. I can't pretend I had it the worst, however. I had to be in the office periodically to work on Media Embeds and an upcoming Media Lunch in the Green Zone. The majority of the 302nd, on the other hand, had sand in every.single.crevice.

We're all coughing and wheezing today. Go figure. It was insane. And ORANGE!!

Just Another Video...

2008-04-17T23:06:00.000-07:00

Just trying to post some additional videos from my time here. We have just a few weeks left in this sandy country...

This is a Thanksgiving video I made for my hubby and family. It's months old, obviously, but it's still relevant as the music behind it, Michael Buble's "HOME" is especially meaningful because it's soon going to be a reality!

Women's Military Appreciation

2008-04-04T09:59:00.000-07:00

Wow, I'm terrible!! Sorry, it's been a VERY BUSY few months. I am now in Baghdad working with the 3rd Infantry Division. It's different...but good.

Here is a special I produced to celebrate women in the military in honor of Women's History Month. We've come a long way since the days of Deborah Sampson. Enjoy.

One Of My Stories from Iraq

2008-02-22T20:41:00.000-08:00

This is a story I covered in December just outside of Balad. The American Military Police are training the Iraqi Police and this was one of the classes. These soldiers are active duty MP's from Alaska and are on a 15-month deployment. This is a really great example of American soldiers working alongside, and training, Iraqis so they can secure their own country and we can get home sooner.

It's So Nice To Be Home

2008-02-08T08:56:00.001-08:00

I'm not exactly home but it sure feels close. After traveling for four days, sitting in Kuwait for two days, enduring a 2 hour trip to the airport in Kuwait, a 6 hour flight to Germany, a two hour layover, followed by a 10 hour flight to Atlanta, another two hour layover followed by a 2 hour flight to Dallas....I've ended up at the USO lounge at the Dallas/Fort Worth airport.

This place is fantastic. Full of wonderful people greeting us with cheers, handshakes, and patriotic salutes. They even have Diet Mt. Dew in the fridge. I'm salivating at the high speed internet. It's the little things people.

My clothes are dirty and I need a shower but I just can not wait to hop on that plane to California and hug my husband and doghter!

If you've ever thought of supporting a non-profit (other than Pros vs. GI Joes of course), the USO is a great place to do it...they make life better for troops and they're always there with a hug, handshake, and even a Diet Mt. Dew.

If you haven't guessed, I'm on my two week vaca from the sandbox. It's so great to be back in the USA!!

The Fallen

2008-01-26T00:11:00.000-08:00

I must say that despite my best efforts, keeping up with this blog has been challenging. You see, I have internet in my trailer, without limitations, but I have to string the cord roughly 300 feet from the portal to reach my trailer and on several occasions, the cord has been severed and/or the connection lost. It works maybe 40% of the time and I pay $85 bucks a month for it! That's some costly instant messaging wouldn't you say? Point is, the only place I can update this is in my trailer and I can barely get on-line to email my husband! I do have internet access at the office but because they are government provided computers, we can't access most sites, especially if it has blog in the URL. It's quite frustrating actually because most news sites are blocked and articles I wish to read on the election or on the news that shapes our world aren't accessible. And since I don't have cable in my room, a lot of the time I feel fairly secluded from what's going on outside the cement t-wall barriers and constantina wires of the FOB.

But it's when I get outside the confines of this base that I truly find out what is going on. I am reminded, sadly, of the price many people are paying.

Two weeks ago, I was told to pack lightly for a pretty high-speed mission outside the wire. I didn't really know what was going on but I knew it wasn't going to be the kind of story I usually cover here on LSA Anaconda. This was, they said, the 101st Airborne Division's response to the death of three of their soldiers.

We left the FOB (Forward Operation Base) before the sun came up on a Friday, convoying through freezing rain and yes, snow in the desert. I traveled with the 2nd Battalion, 320th Field Artillery Regiment out of Fort Campbell, Kentucky. Their mission was to suppress the objective (enemy) using 1200 rounds of highly explosive ammunition (artillery) from their offensive staging area 10 kilometers away. Basically, they were tasked with raining explosive hell on an Al Qaeda base camp (the objective) just south of Samarra until ground forces could go in and finish the job.

To understand this operation, you must first understand the events leading up to it. On February 8th, soldiers conducting ground patrols in the area received word about suspicious movement within the high reeded farmlands in Samarra. Those soldiers, consisting of squads from Alpha Company, 2nd Battalion, 327th Infantry Regiment, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division, set out to recon the area. As they were doing this, they were ambushed by the enemy who, they later found out, were Al Qaeda insurgents conducting extensive operations against US and coalition forces in the area.

During the 3 hour battle, 3 United States soldiers died. 19-year-old PFC Ivan Merlo, 20-year-old PFC Phillip Pannier, and 22-year-old SGT David Hart. When our young men die, there is a price to pay. And that price came in the form of OPERATION FULTON.

It's unclear how many of the enemy were killed but what is clear is that their little sanctuary of hate in the middle of Samarra is now nothing more than an open air morgue of smoldering debris. No one wants to think of soldiers dying to further the war but in this case, these brave men truly did not die in vain. The offensive launched as a result of their deaths, Operation Fulton, unearthed one of the largest Al Qaeda strongholds in the region. Within those reeds were underground tunnel systems, dug-in fighting positions, medical stations, and escape routes. Al Qaeda planned and conducted attacks against US and coalition forces like dirty little tunnel rats until January 8th when our soldiers, including PFC Merlo, PFC Pannier, and SGT Hart fought and died to take them down.

When I cover stories like this, I am so humbled by what I see and hear. I talk to young men who helplessly watch their friends die and somehow, they still soldier on. When they talk to me, they are methodical in their thinking and speaking, almost robotic in their delivery. They are sad, I'm sure, but they keep emotion out of it. They have to. Because they aren't going home any time soon and this ambush may be just one of many they will face until that time comes.

It's also times like these that I'm reminded what my job is as a soldier. That although the last thing they want to do is recount what killed their friends, this is their opportunity, through me, to tell the story of their friends as soldiers, as heroes, as men. I'm humbled by that and I realize that if I didn't serve my country while holding a camera, you may never know the names IVAN MERLO, PHILLIP PANNIER, and DAVID HART and the sacrifice they made for all of us.

19 Year Old Ivan Merlo

20 Year Old Phillip Pannier

22 Year Old David Hart

Just So You Don't Think It's All Bad

2007-12-25T15:24:00.000-08:00

I'm Ashamed But Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!!

2007-12-25T14:15:00.001-08:00

Okay, so maybe I am not really that ashamed but I AM really sorry! Does that count? I keep promising that I will post more often only to NOT post and fib like a fool! Okay, so the buck stops here! Mark my words: I will post more often and I'm about to set a goal of two posts per week! I can do it! I know I can!

I realize I sound like a loon but I just put in an 18 hour work day on Christmas - I'm beat and probably a little nutty at this point. We had a pretty good day - a busy one - but good. I talked to my wonderful HUSBAND a few times which always make me incredibly happy and today even made me cry. I talked to my mom, my grandmother and my in-laws as well. It was wonderful to hear their voices. Everyone sent great gifts, which I'll explain with pictures later in the week, especially Greg who always manages to outdo himself!! He is so thoughtful and creative - unless you've seen the prizes (yes, I call presents "prizes") he gets me, nothing will prepare you! I truly hit the husband jackpot! Here's a tease: he let me know he has "A WONDERFUL LIFE". Eek, I can't wait to share!!

For now, though, I'm going to wrap this up and hit the sheets. I will be back tomorrow and I'm sure I'll find something interesting to talk about! Perhaps what's been keeping me busy for the last month? Yep, that sounds good. More on that tomorrow.

Until then, MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS! And to anyone who lost a child, husband, wife, grandchild, father, mother, grandfather, grandmother, or friend in this WAR, this year or any other, my heart and the heart of my family go out to you. Thank you for your sacrifice and I'm just so so sorry for your loss. We are all thinking of you today....

Apparently, Iraq Is My Catwalk

2007-11-24T05:11:00.000-08:00

I’ve been a bad girl. It’s been almost a month since I’ve updated and I really am sorry for that. I know people look forward to hearing what is going on and seeing pictures. So much for my Picture of the Day, huh? I will be better, REALLY, I promise. I’ll be better.

It’s been a busy month, which is a good excuse for why I haven’t posted, but it wouldn’t be the truth. It’s just that when I finally get back to my trailer at night, usually after 9pm and a 12 to 15-hour day, I’m just too tired to be creative and/or entertaining. And I realize you don’t need me to be creative, you just want “me”, but there is some pressure when you know people will be reading.

Life out here is pretty good, all things considered. It’s very different than my first tour - I mean, really different. In the Green Zone in 2004, we were surrounded by hundreds of civilian contractors, federal employees from the Department of Defense and State Department, and local Iraqis hired for daily work in “the zone”. I was covering stories that spanned the country – from oil refineries, hospitals, schools, and even the Babylon ruins. Occasionally, those stories would involve soldiers but mostly, they were stories of rebuilding and restructuring, and often times they starred civilians who were paid big bucks to improve the quality of life in Iraq. Admittedly, those stories were fun because I got to travel and see a lot of things, but I didn’t truly get a solid appreciation for what the soldiers on the ground were doing on a daily basis – because mostly I was interviewing civilians. Now, although the mission isn’t as “sexy” (my detachment falls under a “sustainment” command – which means feeding supplies to troops in theater), I certainly do appreciate what the soldiers are doing on a daily basis and just how vital and important their role is in this conflict. I’m not talking politics; I’m talking soldiering.

Every day, there are soldiers who go on “route clearance” missions outside the wire. They are the soldiers who go out before the supply delivery convoys, usually before the sun comes up, and scout for IED’s or other known threats in the area. They do this so the supply convoys have a better chance of reaching their destination without incident – meaning, they clear the route of potential bombs that cause unimaginable damage and harm. Take a minute to think of that as your job – something that becomes so routine you forget there is a good chance it can kill you. Personalize it, if you can. It’s mind blowing to think of what theses men and women do for a living. That, for whatever the reason is they joined the military, they now find themselves confronting explosives head on and detonating them before they kill their battle buddies. It sounds cheesy but to me, it’s awe-inspiring. I do little in comparison to these soldiers; I simply put a camera in their face and ask for the privilege to tell their story but seeing it firsthand gives me a much deeper appreciation for how tough, and dangerous, a job it is.

We don’t get caught up in the politics of this War. In fact, I feel pretty out of touch with what is going on in the news, unlike last time. I rarely, if ever, have time to watch television or read the newspaper, and I don’t have any idea what is going on with the Presidential race. In less than a year, we will have a new Commander in Chief, and most of us are so busy with our mission, we have little time to absorb information that will help us cast our vote. I anticipate many trips here by Presidential candidates in 2008. The military vote is a large one and whoever is voted in office has a huge responsibility with our lives. I don’t envy that responsibility (shudder).

Before I came here, I authored a post on this blog labeled “Care Packages”. I thought it was fairly information and I knew some people might think the comment about the letters from school children being largely unnecessary was a bit harsh, but I didn’t think it would warrant this type of backlash:

Anonymous said...: My, my the Department of Defense is spending its money well on you. Pretty as a picture and living in luxery in Iraq. And that deal you have with Netgrocer (another client of your firm?) must be very lucrative.

Many soldiers are living in very remote, dangerous and inconvenient areas. They write daily to an organization you put down and say that any communication with soldiers would be GREATLY appreciated. Your crack about "random" letters from midwestern school children tells most of us that you are a PR plant. A well paid (and well housed) model posing as a PR person hired by the government to show us what a great old time our soldiers are having.

I support this effort and our troops and don't advise sending junk at all. However, it is very clear that you have an agenda and that the solders would be best served by the unpaid citizens who supprt them and not some press release writer like you are.

Wow...I'd love to meet this person face to face. Better yet, I'd love this person to meet my mom, my husband, my brother and sister, my in-laws, my friends, and my boss's at Access Hollywood and SDI who have also had to sacrifice and worry every single day that I've spent in Iraq since late 2003. I understand someone taking my post out of context, but this particular commenter clearly has an agenda of his or her own. Just for giggles, in case "anonymous" comes back for a second round of MY LIFE A to Z literature, I'll address some of the accusations with proof they are more than a little ill-informed.

Pretty as a picture and living in luxery in Iraq.

Does anyone else find this part of the sentence bizarre? "...living in luxery (sic) in Iraq". Who thinks that ANYONE is living in luxury in Iraq? hahahahaha...okay moving on.

I guess I should take the compliment and accept that sometimes I am pretty as a picture. After all, I am assuming the picture he/she is looking at is from my wedding and if HAPPINESS equals PRETTY, them I'm guilty as charged. As for living in luxery (um, spell check is key if you are going for credibility), try this out for size: I have sand in nearly every crevice; my fingernails, no matter how often I clean them, are always dirty; I share a porto potty with hundreds of strangers at least 5 times a day; I share a very small room with another woman, virtually guaranteeing little or no privacy for a year; I live on a base that is mortared several times throughout the day and my wake up call sometimes sounds like this: "this is the command post, there has been an indirect fire attack. I repeat, there has been an indirect fire attack. seek cover seek cover seek cover."; every day I inhale toxins and who knows what else from smoke that rises from the huge fire pit on base; several times a month, I seek to tell stories that can potentially kill me, because that is my job; my husband of just six months, my family, friends and job are more than 8,000 miles away; And I live in the most dangerous country in the world. Some luxurious life, huh? If I'm not mistaken, save for the "cot life" in Kuwait on my way here, I've never really complained about the set up, have I? Just checking.

that deal you have with Netgrocer (another client of your firm?) must be very lucrative.

hahahahahaha - I've personally spent hundreds of dollars at Netgrocer.com during my deployments. I've yet to see any dollaz coming to me....hahahahahaha. This is fun.

Many soldiers are living in very remote, dangerous and inconvenient areas.

This is very true and I have addressed the living conditions of these soldiers, including my appreciation for what they do. Perhaps he/she should read the entire post, and they'll see that.

They write daily to an organization you put down and say that any communication with soldiers would be GREATLY appreciated.

I didn't put any organization down; I simply said that many (but not all) soldiers want to communicate with people they know, instead of complete strangers. If you are not a member of the military, you probably don't understand. At first, the letters are cute but after a while, you crave personal communication. ALL communication is appreciated but some is more effective than others. That is all I was trying to say. Jeez.

...tells most of us that you are a PR plant. A well paid (and well housed) model posing as a PR person hired by the government to show us what a great old time our soldiers are having.

Bitter much? Yea, I'm Sydney Bristow and this is my version of Alias, only I'm a model and Iraq is my catwalk. How many models do you know are PR plants - in the most dangerous countries in the world? And how many models do you know make $28,000 a year working internationally, as I apparently am right now? Better yet, if I am a model posing as a PR plant, why do I look like a soldier? I'm wearing a uniform so according to "anonymous" that would make me a soldier plant, not a PR plant. Hahahaha...thanks for the model compliment though. Camouflage does suit me, I'll give you that. Keep reading this blog, and the one from last time, and you'll see, if the government is paying me to push positive stories about them, they aren't using their money wisely.

it is very clear that you have an agenda and that the solders would be best served by the unpaid citizens who supprt them and not some press release writer like you are.

Tsk Tsk. Again with the spellcheck. Look in to it. For the record, I think the soldiers are very well served by me, not as a "model pr plant", but as their battle buddy. I serve alongside them, with them at times, through 2 deployments, while documenting a truly unique and intense time in their lives; a time when all they want to do is succeed at their mission so they can return home in one piece; a time when many of them lose friends in an instant while keeping Americans safe to enjoy their freedom; a time when emails make the difference in their day and a care package from their family fuels the energy they need to keep going; a time when people like anonymous questions their service and try to make them feel guilty because they are provided with a decent bed to sleep on. But they keep going because that's what soldiers do.

Greg will laugh at me responding to "anonymous" and I don't blame him because I'm giving attention to someone whose comment was buried in a post from months ago. When I first read it, it really did bother me. In fact, I was pissed. But then I cooled off and laughed about it. The model bit was my favorite. And while I am no longer upset about it, I wanted to defend the allegations, not for most people who read this blog but for those like "anonymous" who feel I was disrespectful in my post.

Mostly, though, I'm fighting back because this deployment and separation is very painful to me. Every day I hurt, just like thousands of other soldiers, and whether they are resting comfortably in trailers or sleeping uncomfortably on the sand, the pain of prolonged separation is the same. And if one person, whether I know them or not, questions the sincerity of my service, I take it personally. I'm not some high paid model working undercover in Iraq; I'm an American soldier and this is my second tour of duty in a war zone in service of my Country. I am sacrificing, my family is sacrificing and thousands of Americans have paid the ultimate sacrifice. I will not allow some random comment to cheapen that.

The GI JOES are ready for the PROS!

2007-10-27T08:41:00.001-07:00

I know I have been lax on my postings and I'm sorry but this has been an incredibly busy week. I will post soon, a long post that is long overdue, but for now HERE are some GI JOES stationed in Iraq who are talkin' trash to the PROS! They can't wait for the competitions to begin!

Snapshot of My Life

2007-10-20T11:25:00.000-07:00

Here I am before the CLP (Combat Logistics Patrol) I went on outside the wire last week. The vehicle I'm standing in front of is a ASV (Armored Security Vehicle). I am aware I look like a Ninja Turtle but if we are attacked, that gear will help save my life. You can't see it but in addition to my M16, I am also carrying a camera and a tripod. People think our job is easy but any military broadcaster will tell you it's always a challenge being a "one man band" reporter on missions like these. There is nothing easy about that.

I Adore My Husband

2007-10-17T12:23:00.000-07:00

I am back in Balad after a long week visiting Al Asad, Al Taqaddum, and Camp Hit. I am beat up and tired but THIS cheered me up. I had a package waiting on me when I got back to the office. Greg sent me all kinds of goodies that we love to share - gummy letters, Flammin' hot Baked Cheetos, twizzlers, and then my personal favorite (not his), Diet Mountain Dew. The best part is the note he put on each and every one of the cans that came in the box - each a different reason for loving me. I cried for the first time since leaving him over a month ago. Not that I haven't been sad but I've been able to keep the tears at bay because it's wayyyy too early in the game for me to be crying all the time. I am trying to be strong and keep it together but after a great but very tiring week outside the wire, this amazing package from my incredibly sweet husband provoked real tears. They weren't just "i miss him" tears; they were also happy tears because he made me smile when I didn't feel like smiling. I married my best friend five months ago and these cans are just a reminder that I hit the husband jackpot.

Snapshot of Our Life

2007-10-16T22:45:00.000-07:00

INTRODUCING....
Our nephew Michael Anthony Zinone, III

Born October 16, 2007 @ 1:13pm. He weighed 8lbs and has "short blond hair and big lips", says his dad Michael Anthony Zinone, Jr. Congrats to his mommy Linzie, daddy Michael, big sister 2-year-old Isabella, Aunty Jennifer, Great Grandmother Betty and Grandparents Michael Anthony and Gail Zinone!

We love you! Love, Uncle Greg and Aunt Addie (and cousin Gumata!)

Snapshots of My Life

2007-10-14T23:24:00.001-07:00

My feet hurt. We've been been running around a lot.

I took this pictures for my husband. He LOVES palm trees and this is a particularly beautiful one because it is perched just above Spring Lake on Camp Taqaddum, Iraq, a Marine and Army base that sits between Ramadi and Fallujah.

These sit just to the right of the Palm Tree. I'm not sure of their significance here but for me, it's all about Faith. Sometimes, you've just got to have Faith.

Snapshot of My Life

2007-10-11T12:24:00.001-07:00

Here I am covering military operations in Al Asad, a base camp that is roughly a 30-minute flight from Balad. It's not too bad here. There is a chow hall the size of Costco and every component of the military has a presence here. I'm still traveling so details will come later.

Snapshot of My Life

2007-10-09T13:28:00.000-07:00

I'm traveling for the next week. I'll post pics of my trip when I can.

Snapshot of My Life

2007-10-08T14:23:00.001-07:00

My first Pic of the Day. I've been wanting to post a picture of me in my new fancy Bose headphones but I haven't had an opportunity. These were a going away present from my in-laws and I've wanted these for a while now! I love them because they are noise reducing so they tune out the bombs and blasts and everything! Just kidding....they are perfect for editing my stories (which I am doing here at my desk) and watching movies at night (which I will be doing as soon as I am done with this).

I really do love them so thank you so much to everyone who pitched in to get them for me!

ps...if I look tired, it's because I am.

PROS VS. GI JOES!!!

2007-10-06T02:32:00.001-07:00

So a few posts ago, I mentioned that I had a little announcement to make! The reason I was waiting is because I was waiting on our website to go LIVE so I would have somewhere to send you so you can see what Greg and I have been working so hard on since June! Together, we have started a non-profit organization called PROS VS. GI JOES!

What we do is set up real-time video game competitions between professional athletes (the PROS) and troops stationed overseas (the GI JOES), primarily in Kuwait, Iraq, and Afghanistan, via the Internet using Xbox and an Xbox Live Gaming Tag!

Greg came up with the idea and soon after, we got to work! We filed the appropriate paperwork to get our official 501c3 status (although we are still awaiting our official tax exempt status; it takes a while for the paperwork to process) and started working out the details and getting support from sponsors we need to make this happen for our troops!

All of this happened before I knew I was being deployed but since I am here we are making the best of it and now, I am working as the overseas coordinator! Greg is the Chief Executive Officer and has been THE person to get all of the sponsorships for us! I am so proud of him and his dedication to making this happen! It’s so exciting!

PLEASE CHECK OUT OUR WEBSITE by clicking HERE!! VOTE ON WHO THE FIRST PRO SHOULD BE (to the right of the screen) AND TELL US WHAT YOU THINK!

The first team we’ve partnered up with is the Arizona Cardinals! The guys on the team are ready to take on the troops and we’re getting everything lined up to make it perfect! We are currently working with individual USO Centers in the Middle East, where the GI JOES will play as well as ESPN Zones in the states, where the PROS will play!

It’s the perfect marriage of ideas because professional athletes play these games A LOT and so do the troops! Soldiers spend so much of their down time in front of a TV battling their buddies! Greg and I thought, “why don’t we give the troops a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to go head-to-head against a PRO?”

We found a really great company called AWSSports to create, build, and essentially donate a fantastic website for us! Greg and I came up with all the content and the basic structure of the site. We got his friend Mo to help with the graphics and after months of design, format, and content negotiations, we went LIVE on October 1st! We will continue to improve on the design and add more content but are VERY PROUD of what we have been able to accomplish with the limited resources we have available to us.

We've also been able to secure product sponsorship from these great companies!

EA Sports: they are donating tons of games like Madden 08, Tiger Woods, NBA Live, etc!

Red Bull: donated product for the USO Celebrity Golf Championship at Trump National Golf Course (see pics below)

Ultimate Game Chair: donated the coolest gaming chair in the business and will be donating chairs to put in USO Centers in the Middle East

ArmyNavy.com: donated 6,000 pair of "PROS VS GI JOES" dogtags! Every person who donates get a pair!

Fathead: providing images for USO Centers, where we will have a "PROS VS GI JOES" gaming area.

These are just a few of the companies who believe in what we are doing and see the potential of our organization! We're in talks with XBox to solidify that relationship and we are currently planning the first "PROS VS. GI JOES" Cross-Country Tour that will coincide with the NFL Playoffs!

Here is where you can help, if you would like. Please bookmark our website and send the link to as many people as possible, including members of the press! We need as much exposure and help we can get in order to make our vision a reality and truly SUPPORT OUR TROOPS BY GIVING THEM THE COOLEST MORALE BOOSTER AROUND!

Also, if anyone has contacts, associations, friends, etc. with PROFESSIONAL ATHLETES, CELEBRITIES, SPORTS ORGANIZATIONS, RADIO AND/OR TV SHOWS, and you think they would be interested in PROS VS. GI JOES, please email me at addie@prosvsgijoes.org. I have a lot of contacts and am utilizing them as much as possible but every little bit helps!

Also, we are a non-profit organization, and work solely on donations, so click HERE if you'd like to help SUPPORT THE TROOPS through PROS VS. GI JOES!

We are hoping to have our first match in November but we're still working out the details. In August, however, we were lucky enough to be invited to showcase our organization at the USO Celebrity Golf Tournament at Trump National Golf Course. We were truly the highlight of the day! This was just a simulation; not our official kick-off so we had troops stationed in Korea playing against the celebs and golfers. They had a blast and it was so much fun! The Airmen and Soldiers in Korea were even trash talking through the headphones even though they were on opposite sides of the world! Now imagine if they are talking smack with their favorite professional athlete?? It's gonna be awesome!

So, there you go! Our GREAT idea is turning in to a GREAT thing for our TROOPS! I will keep you updated here but PLEASE check out our site often for all the updates and latest news on PROS VS. GI JOES! The more support we have from you the more support we'll get from sponsors!

Back to Blogging

2007-10-06T01:06:00.000-07:00

I'm still truckin' along people. I've not updated because I've been so busy trying to catch up with the rest of my unit (who have been here for over four months already), figuring out what the mission is exactly, and getting used to way they do things. As I mentioned in an earlier post, ours is a logistics mission so we cover the units that fall under the command of the 316th as well as other units on LSA Anaconda. Our unit is essentially made up of two teams: a print team that writes, edits, and publishes a weekly 16 page newspaper called the Anaconda Times and a broadcast team that writes, edits, and produces a 15 minute + bi-monthly newscast called Newsreel Anaconda. We also submit our stories to Armed Forces Network Bureaus around the world as well as to The Pentagon Channel. Both of these teams are made up of just four soldiers each so the demand on each of us is pretty big. We have a lot to do with very few soldiers and that's not including our other responsibilities like early morning PT (physical training), shift change (mandatory reporting from each section of the days events), occasional guard duty, and of course maintaining our equipment, weapons, living and work areas.

All in all, it's not that bad here. They call Balad "Mortaritaville" because we get blasted a lot with mortar rounds but I haven't experienced much of that. A few come in every now and then but nothing like I experienced when I was in the Green Zone in 2004. This base is big so the mortars would have to land fairly close in order for me to hear them. Sometimes I hear what I think is thunder...then I realize it's not thunder, it's an explosion. So weird! And as odd as I know this sounds to you, on a day to day basis for us, life here feels pretty normal. I get up, go to work, do what I have to do, and I get back to my trailer - uneventful is the key as is working hard to accomplish the mission. So what is my mission exactly? Two things: (1) Tell the soldier's story and tell it well. (2) Get back to my family and friends in one piece.

Truly, the hardest part for me is missing home. I feel that a lot more severely than I did during my last deployment, which makes sense because I'm in a very different place than I was three years ago! Last weekend was very hard for me because of my brother's wedding. I was supposed to be a bridesmaid and I was sick to my stomach knowing my family was together celebrating his big day and welcoming his wife to our family! Those things, along with holidays, are very very tough on us. That is when it's most apparent to us how much we miss home and the realization that we won't get those days back. It's hard to reconcile.

Having said that, Greg and I stay in touch with occasional phone calls and a lot of emailing and IM'ing! I was able to get an internet connection in my trailer (that we are paying a ridiculous amount for) so that helps a lot! Finding time to email is pretty difficult because my day is pretty packed with work so if you emailed me and haven't heard back, I'm really sorry!

I'm finally feeling like I am comfortable and in to the groove of things here so I will be updating more often! My mom was really worried because she didn't hear from me for a couple of days so I will be sure to not let that happen very often! I've also decided I will do a PICTURE OF THE DAY post mostly every day so that you can really get a sense of what I am seeing on a daily basis. Sometimes I will have to go out on missions and won't be able to do it because I'll be off post (we call it "outside the wire")without access to the internet but I'll try to be consistent. I've taken some pics of my office and trailer so we'll start with these for now.

This is my trailer park looks like! Actually very confusing to find my trailer at first!
Our lovely abode, inside and out! I share part of this trailer with SGT Longbine. She's also in my unit. My bed is comfy, we have air conditioning, a television, and a refrigerator - no bathroom unfortunately but I'm not complaining after sleeping on that nasty cot for so long! I just can't escape the Porto potties though!

Here is where I work. It was VERY surreal when I first got here because when I was in Balad in late 2003, this is the EXACT building I lived in. At the time, it was an old Iraqi office building and we just found a room and camped out in it. Now, to see it so clean and like a real office building is so strange. My old bedroom is now my Captain's office. The smell, the air, the rooms...the memories came rushing back to me and I couldn't believe I was really here again! It seemed just like yesterday, not four years ago! But here is the building, the hallway, and the broadcasters work area.

Like I said, I will post a pic or two a day to give you a visual of life for us here on LSA Anaconda. There are about 25,000 troops here and each one has a story. Hopefully through my stories and pictures, you won't feel so detached from what our life is like. I miss you all....

Iraq

2007-09-25T11:00:00.001-07:00

I've finally arrived in Iraq. I got here at 4:30 this morning. It was quite a trip. I flew from Kuwait to Qatar to Balad on a C130. Not the most comfortable plane but after a few years in the military I've come to expect that comfort, or lack thereof, simply comes with the territory. It's pretty funny what I've become accustomed to after living like a nomad for a few weeks. I realized the other day that I haven't flushed a toilet in over two weeks. Think about it. What that means is for over two weeks I haven't had a nice, relaxing....well, you know. I've only used porto potties that are shared by thousands of soldiers. Gross. Beyond gross. But funny nonetheless. Too candid? My sincere apologies but I did tell you I would share the good and the bad about this deployment and now I guess I've ventured into toilet humor (yes, pun absolutely intended). Hey, it's no treat for me either. When I finally flushed today, I started to laugh. Perhaps the humor doesn't transfer very well here but to me, it's funny.

Thankfully, I'm moving on. I've met up with my team in Balad which consists of 8 soldiers from a reserve unit in California. The other 13 are in Baghdad at Camp Victory. I've worked with most of them before so it was nice to finally see some recognizable faces! After three weeks of traveling solo and having inner conversations, I really freaked myself out a few days ago when I actually verbalized part of my conversation! The trip to Balad couldn't come fast enough.

Luckily, they are giving me a few days to get comfortable and finish all of the administration stuff before I hit the ground running. It was VERY nice to have mail here waiting on me when I get here so THANK YOU Mom and Chuck, Gail, Mike and Jen, Mom Mom, Whitney, and Judy!!! It was like Christmas!! The only real negative thing so far is my BlackBerry doesn't work here like it did in Kuwait so I started to panic when I got here and realized there is no commercial cell phone use. I had no way to let Greg know I arrived, and arrived safely. It really bummed me out (see picture below). Greg calls that my Sad Fish Face. I admit it, I was sad. I really wanted to talk to him and I was feeling alone and helpless. But I'm fine now and before that, I was staying positive during my trip (see smiling picture below). Besides, I do have access to the Internet and the mail definitely cheered me up (see other smiling pic)! Enjoy the pics and I'll be in touch soon!

PS...if you want to email me you can at addiecollins@gmail.com!

Oh, and my name tag still says Collins because it takes a lot of paperwork to officially change your name in the Army....I start that tomorrow to become SSG ZINONE!! Yay!!

My Last Few Days in Kuwait

2007-09-19T04:09:00.000-07:00

Updating this blog is becoming increasingly more difficult because there are so many soldiers going after the same 10 internet plug-ins! Admittedly, last week I was very spoiled because I had a password to the wireless network (given to me by someone who bought it on base) but that has since expired and I’m back to standing in endless lines. Not that I am above standing in lines; it’s just that the lines never seem to end! To combat that (pun intended), I went to buy my own wireless 4-day voucher but for some reason they are no longer available. So the days of sitting in the air-conditioned tent writing emails and updating my blog in Kuwait are apparently behind me!

But because I care about you all soooo much, this afternoon I stood outside the USO tent for 45 minutes prior to the center opening so I could be one of the first to get a computer and let you know how I'm doing! I'm not under the assumtion I have a loyal following but I know my mom, grandmother, and in-laws like to know what I am up to. So here goes...

I should be leaving for Iraq any day now. All of my training in Kuwait is now complete, including a 3 day field-training sojourn to the desert where we learned about convoy tactics, techniques and procedures (TTP’s), identifying and reacting to improvised explosive devices (IED’s) and extraction of casualties on the battlefield. Vital and important stuff but not altogether fun. In the field, there is no electricity or running water, nowhere to sleep but on the sand or on a hard sandy floor in a makeshift tent that doubles as our classroom and our sleeping quarters, and nothing but delicious MRE’s for every meal. This is the life of a grunt, a soldier, a Joe. At times, it can actually be fun and in hindsight, it’s never as bad as it feels at the time. So when I start to complain and feel tired and dirty, I remind myself this is what thousands of Marines and Soldiers deal with on a daily basis – THIS kind of soldiering is their job – and I have no room to complain because, for me, it’s over when the training is over. For them, it doesn’t end until their tired and beat up feet finally hit American soil. We should all thank them because theirs is a difficult and thankless job.

Okey Dokey, back to My Life. Because pictures tell the story better than mere adjectives, here a few shots of our training:

Nothing but soldiers and desert for miles - our training started at 4:30am. Live-fire quick reaction and close quarters marksmanship (I look a lot cooler than I am!) In front of and on the 5-Ton in preparation for Convoy Rehearsals
I was the vehicle commander for our humvee (God Help Us). Here I am identifying our vehicle to the Convoy Commander. Our call sign was DUSTMAKER 10 Yummy scrumptious MRE’s – this particular delight is Chicken Fajita. (just imagine how tasty it is …it’s designed to last 10 years!)
5 Star Accommodations And finally, more Camels just for fun
As I mentioned, according to my liaison I should be leaving for Iraq within the next few days. That is probably the next time you will hear from me. Until then, I’m spending my time watching SEINFELD on my cot…and of course, missing all of you, in particular my husband and Gumata! I'll be back as soon as I can....

MY ADDRESS

2007-09-12T11:14:00.000-07:00

Yes, I know I've posted a lot today but forgive me, I have my very own internet connection and I am making the most of it! I found out yesterday I am headed to Balad, after all. It's about 60 miles north of Baghdad and it's where half of my assigned unit (302nd Mobile Public Affairs Attachment) is. The other half is in Baghdad, at Camp Victory (where I thought I was going). Balad is great in that it is loaded with Morale Welfare and Recreation activities. Greg and I will be working closely with the USO while I am there but more on that later...I want to pack a punch with the announcement and want to make sure all of our ducks are in a row before I spill it...but it's SOOOO exciting for us!! Mission-wise, it will be good, too. I don't have details but there are a lot of Civil Affairs soldiers based in Balad and great opportunities for me to see firsthand some of the humanitarian work that is being done. Okay, let's get to it. Here is my address.....(wink wink)......if you mail something, like a package (wink wink) you MUST go to the post office and fill out a customs form. It's very simple and it's required! Postage rates are national so you will pay the same if you send it to California or to Iraq. For letters and/or cards, no customs form is required. Please, no porn, pork, or alcohol. Don't get me arrested. DVD's and TV Series DVD's are greatly appreciated as it gets VERY boring at night and that is what I watch on my computer as I fall asleep. Right now I am on Season 5 of Cheers. I love Cheers. Crystal Light On The Go's are AWESOME!!! And I love blow pops. Very good snacks to break up the day. That's all I can think of now. I'm sure there will be more so check back often! Thank you so much!

SSG Addie Zinone
302nd MPAD
APO AE 09391

4 Months...

2007-09-12T10:36:00.000-07:00

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY HUBBY!!!

Today, we've been married four months! Yay! We've really figured out the key to a long, lasting marriage - and it doesn't include being 8,000 miles away from one another (hehe)! I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU!!

Kuwait...Sandy, Hot Kuwait

2007-09-12T07:44:00.000-07:00

Hello from the Middle East, where it's HOT HOT HOT and full of SAND SAND SAND! I'm doing well actually. I've been here for about 3 days (I am very disoriented time/day-wise because the trip was so long and the time change so drastic) and I've yet to get used to having sand in nearly every crevice. I have settled in to Camp Buehring in Kuwait, the in-processing and training area all soldiers are required to go through prior to getting to Iraq. It's just another stop on a seemingly never ending trip! I truly forgot how grueling and tiresome it is just to get to where I am headed. Since I've been here, it's been fairly easy. I do not have immediate access to the internet or the phones and the lines, they are LONG! Thousands of soldiers vying for the same resources and it takes a lesson in patience to deal with it. But I'm doing just fine. Right now, I'm currently in the USO Morale Tent with my own laptop hooked up to the land line...what a luxury! I have had minimal training so far; they are trying to determine what it is I need to get to Iraq. It's different for each MOS (Military Occupation Specialty) - our job - and since I'm here as an inidividual augmentee, they aren't sure what it is I need. While I wait, I hang out in my assigned tent with no less than 25 of my closest battle buddies...so many broads it's like a hostel! You can say the accommodations are less than stellar. See Exhibit A, B, C. The last picture is where I sleep...inviting, isn't it? Well today the air conditioner went off in the tent and it was so hot one soldier walked in from using the bathroom and fell right to her face from the heat. Poor child has scratches and bruises all over her legs and arms from hitting the wood floor without warning. Hopefully they have that fixed because sleeping is not an option when you're pruining from lying/sleeping in your own sweat. N to the ASTY. Fo realz.

As for the rest, here's a little tour. The endless row of tents that house thousands of transient soldiers: The trailer we shower in (only 15 gallons per soldier...aka a very cold, uncomfortable, dry shower):
This is self explanatory...but no less disgusting in 122 degree heat: Bomb shelters (rarely, if ever, used in Kuwait): And finally, here are some pictures from our trip to the range early yesterday morning to test fire our M16's and M9's:

The range was VERY far out in the desert but it was nice that early in the morning (we went there at 4:30am). We saw camels being herded (are camels herded??? if that sounded ignorant, I apologize): The more I see, the more surreal it seems! Someone commented that I need to remember all I see and do, and commit it to memory...they are so right because in spite of the pain this separation is causing me, this is truly a unique and interesting experience. I'm lucky to share it with you. I hope you are enjoying it. I miss you!

Georgia...Maine...Ireland...Kuwait...Iraq

2007-09-08T03:41:00.000-07:00

I'm currently on the third stop of my of my two city, three country adventure. Ireland, where the Guiness is thick and the spirit is high. As we came off the plane and in to the terminal, the crowd erupted into spontaneous applause. That feels good because considering where we are heading, I anticipate that will be the last standing ovation we receive until we return home.

I have just a few minutes before we have to reboard but since I have an internet connection, I wanted to check in to let you know I am doing well. The week at Fort Benning was quick and easy. Greg was able to come down from Tuesday to Friday and although we didn't have as much time as we wanted, I was luckier than most because everyone else said goodbye to their family before leaving for Benning. That said, the final goodbye yesterday was/is gut-wrenching. It doesn't seem real to me that I will not return home in a week and fall in to his hug. In fact, when I wake up from sleeping on the plane, I painfully realize all over again that with each flight I am flying further and further away from the love of my life. I know it's only nine or ten months but right now, that does little to comfort me. One. Day. At. A. Time.

I've met some really great people in the airport just since I've been typing this. One very nice couple from Connecticut and a young man from West Virginia. Two West Virginian's meeting in an Irish Airport Hanger...who would have thought?

Time to go...from here, it only gets tougher so I have to psych myself up for this next leg! Next time you hear from me I should be there. I'm not sure when I can update because I have no idea what my living/working situation will be. But know I am doing well and concentrating on that return home! Until then, keep us all in your prayers and know all of us are serving with your Freedoms and safety foremost in our minds.

So It Begins

2007-09-01T01:01:00.000-07:00

In less than 3 hours I am leaving to catch my flight to Fort Benning, Georgia. This time next week, according to the most recent information I've received, I will be on a plane crossing the Atlantic. And so it begins....

It's late and I'm tired. For obvious reasons I can't sleep (note that Greg isn't one to lose sleep when he's stressed....God love him but he's out like a light!) so I thought I'd write a quick update because I'm not sure if I'll be able to do it from Georgia. Luckily, I don't have to say my final good-bye to Greg today. He is coming to Georgia on Tuesday to spend a few days with me. We're keeping our fingers crossed that I won't be training into the evening so that we'll have plenty of time together. Regardless, even if it's for 20 minutes a day, it's worth it. Gosh, I love my husband.

I will, however, have to say good-bye to Gumata. We've had this dog a little more than 2 months and I am so in love with her, I can't stand it!! Pets really do become your children! I mean, come on....how can you not love a dog who LOVES the beach (like her parents) and LOVES to sleep (like her parents)?

This little girl is only 9 months old and she's already close to 80lbs! When I get back, she is going to be HUGE! Gosh, I can't wait to hug her again....this is so hard. I've underestimated it for sure. More from Georgia....

Is She Smarter Than a 5th Grader? This Scares Me (and makes my day)

2007-08-25T09:10:00.000-07:00

So last night as we're making dinner, we flip through the channels and see that Miss Teen USA is on the boobie tubie. I generally wouldn't be that interested in it but Greg and Paul (our new roommate who is moving in while I am away) thought it would be fun to check out the 'teens'. I think the exact quote was, "Hey Paul, Miss Teen USA is on. They do swimsuit even." Yeah, I know...but it was a Friday night and I've learned you gotta let some things go! Nothing about this little competition interested me in the least....until we got to the question portion. For the love of all that is holy....check out Miss Teen South Carolina's answer.

I've never been so grateful for Tivo in all my life. We rewinded it at least 5 times - mostly to figure out what in the world she was trying to say. I still don't understand. That poor child is never EVER going to live this down. EVER. Because of Tivo and YouTube and blogs like mine, this 30 second snippet of stupidity will haunt her FOREVER. I actually do feel bad for her. We've all said stupid things and fortunately there isn't a video trail of it. But her answer is so stupid that if she doesn't one day win the Nobel Peace Prize for geographical wizardry, she will not redeem herself. "Many US Americans...don't have maps....such as..." It's just...too much.

Whew. I'm tired from laughing. I know it's not right but I can't help it. Have a great weekend.

I'm Still Here....

2007-08-24T10:06:00.001-07:00

Yep, I'm still here. Sorry it's been so long between posts. I'm assuming it's just my family (and by family, i mean my mother and grandmother) who check to see if I've updated, but still....

It's been a pretty stressful month and it's about to get even more stressful. I think I'm having a physical aversion to this deployment! I've had severe headaches the last few days; Greg says it's because I'm thinking too much. He may be right.

The fact is I thought I would have been long gone by now. I was supposed to be gone the first week in August according to the information I got when I first found out I was being deployed. I finished work, went home to visit the fam, said my goodbyes to them, and came back to LA to spend a good solid week with Greg and Gumata before gearing up to leave. Only thing is we kept waiting and waiting...and waiting...and waiting....and heard nothing for weeks. Don't get me wrong; I LOVE and appreciate the extra time in the beautiful California sun with my family, but life isn't free and I wasn't working. It was hard to truly enjoy that time, without stress, when we had no idea when I was leaving. So I did a little Army stuff, booked an INSANE freelance VH1 shoot with Janice Dickinson (more on that later), then went back to work at Susan Davis International. All of that work was a godsend. Susan Davis is a gem. Take note.

Then finally, last Tuesday (8/21) I got the call that we had simultaneously been waiting for and dreading: I have to report to Fort Benning, Georgia no later than 1500 (3pm) on September 1st (next Saturday) for an 8 day training period. From there, I assume I go to Kuwait. By this time next month, I will be in Iraq to join the unit that has been there since the weekend of our wedding. I've cried more recently (usually when I am alone) than I have since I found out. There is a unique difference in knowing you are leaving and actually having a date. It's painful, and I've had a constant knot in my throat. The only thing I keep telling myself is that thousands, if not millions, of soldiers have done it and have survived. Of course, I realize how dramatic this sounds....I get it....but the fear of goodbye is so real to me now that it's turned in to a true physical pain. Even the simplist thing makes me tear up. Uh, feeding the fish..yep, almost makes me cry. Putting gas in my car? Tears. Picking up Gumata's poo? Tears. I'll be the first to admit it's laughable.

Speaking of laughable, let's lighten things up a bit and talk about my shoot with Ms. Janice Dickinson for VH1. HOLY WACKY CRAZY INSANE BOTOXED TRAINWRECK. To refresh your memory, this is Janice: I did Ms. Thing a favor by posting a relatively flattering picture of her. She is so nutty that in many of her pictures she is either exposing her underwear, making a crazy face, or grabbing men's crotches...you name it. Google her name, you'll see. Okay back to the story. Here's the deal: the shoot was for VH1's Fabulous Life series...this particular episode is about "cougars" (women who date younger men) and women over 40 who keep it sexy. Apparently the producers at VH1 think Janice fits the mold. It also doesn't hurt that she is crazy and will do most anything on camera (which makes for a better episode for them). She realizes this, believe me. They aren't exploiting anyone who doesn't know it. Janice isn't a dummy; she understands that the way she stays relevant these days is to be the star of her own mini circus. Welcome to Janice's Circus. Exhibit A, just for fun: (smaller pic, easier on the eyes).

The shoot was supposed to last 5 hours and we were going shopping with Janice at 4 or 5 different trendy shops in Hollywood; she was going to show us how she "keeps it sexy". I don't have the time or energy to relive every single detail but I'll bust out a few of the highlights. Ms. Janice is 53 years old and considers herself "the world's first supermodel". To her credit, she still looks great. She is admittedly botoxed within an inch of her life and her teeth rival Mr. Ed's but still...she looks great. She has two kids that I know of, one of which was on the shoot with her. She's 13. Keep this in mind as I bring you the highlights. First stop, Agent Provocateur. Lingerie. Sexy in the bedroom type stuff. Janice puts on one of the most provocative ensembles I have ever seen - complete with whip, garter, high heels and push up bra. She is crazy. When she comes out of the dressing room, her 13-year-old daughter leaves the store, mortified. But that doesn't stop Janice from playing up to the camera about her sexual exploits and desires. Wow. I thought I was unshockable. I'm not. The thing with Janice is she doesn't care if she appears rude to people. I think she feels absolutely entitled -- entitled to free stuff, entitled to boss people around, entitled to do as she pleases. In fact, when the camera man (Kevin, I've worked with him at Access Hollywood) and I were talking about me going back to Iraq, I was no longer "producer girl".....I immediately became Iraq girl. IRAQ GIRL!!!!! The public relations guy was PR GUY; camera guy, well CAMERA GUY. You get the point. It didn't even occur to her that it may be rude! And she SCREAMS your tag line when she needs you....."PR GUY AM I GETTING THIS STUFF FOR FREE?" "IRAQ GIRL, WHERE ARE WE GOING NEXT?" Oh my holy trainwreck. I only wish that once in your life you get to experience something like this. Every store we went in, she expected to keep everything she tried on. Didn't matter if it cost thousands of dollars or if it was one of a kind. Didn't matter. And she didn't stop there. Again, to her credit, in spite of the fact that she called me "Iraq Girl", she was very gracious about my going to Iraq. Almost too gracious. Every store we went in, with the exception of Agent Provocateur, she kept saying "can you wear this in Iraq, do you want this hat, this shirt, these pants?" When I said "no, thank you" she threw them at me and told me to keep them. We're talking $150 t-shirts. Um, can't wear Ed Hardy in Iraq. Can't wear a hoodie from Kitson. Can't wear a trench from Ted Baker (although I LOVED that trench coat!). I understand she was only trying to be nice, and her intentions were good, but the looks on the faces of the managers and employees at these stores were priceless. They were unexpectedly cast in the latest espisode of the Janice Dickinson Circus. It was crazy. For the record, I took everything she threw at me back to the stores. The free stuff is not for me to have. It's not ethical, first of all. Secondly, (News Bulletin) we only wear Government Issue in Iraq!! Besides, the detail in the trench would be lost under my Kevlar Vest and it certainly doesn't go with an M16A2 rifle. It's basic fashion awareness people. Jeez.

So anyway, we finished the shoot and although it went well, I seriously felt like I had survived a hurricane. These shoots are always chaotic; when you're dealing with famous people and egos and entitlement, there is always drama. Plus, as the producer, you are the one who has to keep egos in check, stick to the timeline, deal with publicist, managers, agents, etc. You're in charge and it's NUTS.

My life is so full of perspective. And when it's all said and done, in spite of the stresses of military life, it's provided a much healthier outlook on life for me. I would much rather be facing an enemy in Iraq than be the 13-year-old daughter of an aging, egotistical, entitled supermodel who flashes her vajayjay for the world to see....all for a little attention. The truth is Janice was nothing but nice to me, albeit in her own way. But I'm not the one she needs to be thinking about. Perhaps she can put her snatch away and think about why her daughter is running out of stores at the sight of her in a thong.

You see, the perception for most is that Hollywood is the place you come to make your dreams come true. For a lucky few, that may be true. In Janice's case, however, it's clouded her judgment in raising her daughter. Her need for fame and success overrides her daughter's need for a healthy environment and lifestyle. I may complain and get sad about my circumstances, but I'm truly happier living my life as a soldier who makes $2000 a month serving in a combat zone than as a celebrity pulling in millions a year by making a jerk of herself and her daughter. But that's just me - AKA Iraq Girl.

Care Packages

2007-07-12T16:51:00.000-07:00

For those of you who don't know what it is I do for a living, it's probably a good idea to explain so that this post will make sense. After years of working in television, I recently started as an Account Executive for a great PR agency in Washington, DC called Susan Davis International. It's Public Relations - something I've never thought I would be interested in doing. Turns out I am interested, and I happen to really enjoy it.

One of our biggest accounts, and the one closest to my heart, is America Supports You, a Department of Defense program which highlights citizens' support for military personnel and their families, and then communicates that support to our troops serving all over the world. The "communicate" part of the equation is the most important element to me, and it has a lot to do with this post. Under the umbrella of the America Supports You program sit over 275 non-profit organizations whose purpose is to provide support of any and all kinds to our men and women in uniform. Fulfilling the needs of our Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen, and Marines is the priority, and it's very upsetting when the needs of these amazing Americans aren't met, or aren't communicated properly.

Today my boss sent me an email a soldier who is stationed in Iraq sent to an extremely successful non-profit organization here in the states.. Because the email was not sent directly to me, I won't reveal which non-profit it was nor will I reveal the soldier's identity. But I would like to talk about what he wrote in the email. Here is a small snippet:

"I am just another Joe in the desert out here in Iraq...has it ever occurred to anyone in the States to ask the troops directly what they need or what in terms of support? The last thing we need out here is another million letters and boxes jammed with Q-tips, cotton balls, and pilfered hotel soap bars.....It just frustrates me to see these campaigns and no one is coordinating with us here."

The email was sent to me because my boss knows I can relate to the soldier's frustrations and she wanted to gage my perspective to see if this is a bitter soldier or a valid complaint. Here is my long response (clearly it is something I am passionate about):

A few things come to mind:

He may, in fact, be a disgruntled Joe. But we have to explore exactly why he is disgruntled and pin down why he has chosen to send an email that can potentially hurt someones efforts in supporting the troops. I'm guessing he is "over it" - run down by missions, danger, violence, increased public dissatisfaction of the war (which we ALL feel and know but rarely talk about with anyone outside of our little circle), time away from family, having very little control over the decisions that affect us, and last but not least, feeling terribly homesick.

As I have mentioned before, the ONE thing we look forward to CONSTANTLY, is getting mail - and if there is a package, light the candles because it absolutely feels like a birthday!! But imagine you are so excited and then you open a package only to find one of hundreds of items you have been sent before; items that were useless even in 2004. It's like getting a birthday present you can't use. Don't get me wrong...the appreciation is there, without a doubt, but the excitement wears off because it's just another example of the disconnect taking place between what soldiers need and what the public think we need.

The truth is our government has gone to great lengths to make sure the majority of us are properly taken care of. Not long after the initial invasion, when logistics were just starting to take effect, private contractors were hired to build and house us in air conditioned trailers stocked with a shared hot water shower and bathroom, television, DVD player as well as personal armoires and beds, TV stands and night tables. Basically, it didn't take long to assure our quality of life on the FOB's (Forward Operation Base) was high. And while the food in the chow halls is wide ranging and served in abundance, it's THEIR choice for what we want; not the choice of the service member.

People can argue that it's the life you choose when you voluntarily sign up to be a JOE. That is true. But it's also true that your friends and family, along with thousands of strangers who want to help in any way they can, are going to send you care packages in an attempt to make you feel less homesick, make you smile, or to help fill a void. If you are a family member, you know exactly what your loved ones want and you can fulfill the request. If you are not, you simply go on what you've heard or what you THINK a soldier needs: q-tips, toothpaste, hand sanitizer, wet naps, beef jerky, pens, pencils, and random well wishes from a kindergarten class in the mid-west. All well intended and appreciated of course, but it's not filling a need and to the soldier, it further fuels the assumption that there is a disconnect between our needs and you, thus adding to our homesickness. Is this too confusing? Well, it is to us as well. It's hard to verbalize or make sense of your feelings in that environment without fear of sounding like a whiner, a slacker, and a pansy that can't take the tough life of a JOE. That is why I think we should move away from assuming this soldier is disgruntled and think of his letter as a Citizen Service Announcement for the thousands of troops who share his frustrations. And think of ways to combat it (pun intended).

How do we do this? Well, one way is to push this relationship with NetGrocer.com. As I have mentioned before, I spent hundreds of my own dollars at Net Grocer on items I wasn't getting in care packages and that weren't offered in the chow hall or PX....items that gave me a piece of home and a feeling of normalcy. I understand this probably sounds crazy, but it truly boosted my morale to enjoy a 12 ounce can of Diet Mountain Dew - something that I can pick up anywhere in the states but also something that takes over 2 weeks to get when deployed in a war zone. When I relayed that message to my friends and family, I no longer had to spend my money on it. They took out the toothpaste and q-tips and made room for another 6 pack of Diet Mountain Dew. They weren't wrong for not doing it in the first place; they simply didn't know.

Secondly, we should relay this message to all the home front groups who fall under ASY that send care packages overseas. I think they should ALL reevaluate the items they spend their time and money on, determine if those items still fit the needs of today's soldier based on the soldier's conditions, and adjust fire (again, pun intended). There is no need to fill packages with unwanted or unneeded items and then waste a lot of money on shipping.

America Supports You can provide the troops and the home front group a fantastic service. We've been provided a very useful message from a soldier who knows what he is talking about. Now we need to relay that message to the appropriate home front groups, start a conversation (perhaps a conference call summit), and see what we can collectively agree is the best plan of action to assure this kind of letter isn't written again.

I get that most of this message may not mean that much to you. Alot of what I wrote is jargon known to only those of us who work on the account but I'd like to address a few of the points I made in the email because this can help everyone out who is planning to send care packages to soldiers like me (wink wink).

I am on my way back to Iraq and it's almost guaranteed that I will have the same comfy set up that you see in the picture above. Many soldiers and Marines do not, however. If you pay attention to the background of this picture you will see he is living is substandard conditions, one which allows the mighty Marines to pack up quickly and defend our Freedoms (Thank You!). Please understand, however, that this is NOT how the majority of us are roughing it. If you know a soldier or Marine serving in this capacity, the items in this pic are probably more suitable for them. These items are great because they fit in pockets, ruck sacks, and duffel bags. They are also very convenient and necessary for troops who have to travel light and for troops who like to brush their teeth, wipe off the sand, and fuel up on snacks between firefights.

But like I said before, most of us are not living like that so those little things people think we need end up in the garbage - or as handouts to Iraqi children. There is a huge misconception about the life of a soldier. True, there are moments of inconvenience and restless nights on uncomfortable cots while consuming dry and tasteless MRE's. But for MOST soldiers, this happens very rarely. Which is why the email from the soldier is so valuable.

He and his soldiers don't need food that is still edible ten years down the road. They, like me, want things they can't get their hands on: soda, candy, or chips not offered in the chow hall or PX, portable entertainment equipment (ipods, dvd players, handheld gaming consoles) and a litany of other things. My suggestion, if you want to send care packages and not waste your money, would be to find a soldier or a unit and communicate with them and their Chain of Command to gage their specific wants and needs. Additionally, I wouldn't send something to "any soldier". We're beyond that as almost every soldier receives cards, letters, and packages and if they aren't, a random letter of support from someone they don't know won't do much to boost their morale. I do suggest, however, that in your communication with your loved one, you ask if someone in his or her unit isn't receiving mail on a regular basis. Then email that soldier, ask them what they would like specifically, and send it with love.

The fear here is that people will think soldiers are being unappreciative. It's not that at all! But it does get redundant to read letters of support from strangers we don't know. At first, it's cute and appreciated but the feeling wears off after the 10th letter from someone whose name we don't recognize. When it's personal, it's awesome. When it's not, it's a little less awesome(sorry to sound so rude, but it's true!).

Whew, this has turned out to be a long post! I'm not even sure it makes sense but I hope it is helpful in pointing out what is valuable to a soldier and what is not. I mentioned NetGrocer above...it's a great on-line grocery and product service that ships to military bases all over the world. I used it and I encourage others to use it. SDI is in the process of building a relationship with NetGrocer and some of the non-profit groups that fall under America Supports You to make it more user friendly for the military and their families. But until then, hop on over and look around. Better yet, send the link to whoever you know in Iraq or Afghanistan, and ask them to make a wish list. It will do wonders for their spirit and you can be sure your money will be well spent.

Have a great weekend!

Family Time

2007-07-08T15:42:00.001-07:00

Okay, so I'm sorry for the long delay! I'm thinking the three people who read this didn't even notice but there was something wrong with my blog settings, something that I did apparently, and I had no idea how to fix it! I am fairly savy with computers, and I've blogged before, but there is so much computer jargon I don't understand...html, scripts, tags, encoding, etc. OY. It gives me a headache. I finally fixed it so let's get to it.

The last week has been great. Nothing but pure FAMILY TIME with Greg, Gumata, and me. We're coveting every little minute we have together. We took our little girl to the beach last weekend and although she was really timid and shy around other people, we think she enjoyed it! If she is anything like her father, she will learn to love it! After the beach, we took her to play with some other doggies but she wanted to hang with us instead! We got Gumata from a Mastiff Rescue organization, which may explain why she is so timid around people. For the first six months of her life, she lived in five different homes! She is very comfortable around us, but she's still super shy around others. We're working on it though! We take her everywhere we go....and yes, it's Dad who deals with most of her doggy doo! Okay so that will be the only poo picture I post on here. Sorry about that but I didn't want to waste that picture by not sharing it with everyone!!!

HAPPY 30TH BIRTHDAY HUBBY!

I bet you all didn't know that I am rocking the cradle with Greg, did you? Well, I am....I've got a good 15 1/2 months on my man. On July 2nd, he turned the big 3-0. We didn't really do anything but chill at the house and have cake with LD and Paul. It was a good time had by all.

Oh, I bet you are wondering what GUMATA means. Well, Greg is very proud of his Italian heritage and as some of you may know, when an Italian man has a mistress or "a girl on the side", she is known as their GUMATA. So, we named her GUMATA since she is the only woman besides me and the women in his family that he is allowed to love! I know it's weird but we love it!

The rest of the week was fairly uneventful. We had a great time in Costa Mesa with our friends Michelle and Steve for the 4th of July. I am praying I will be back by this time next year so we can do it again because we had a blast! I hope everyone remembers all the sacrifices people are making to maintain our independence and freedom, not just on patriotic holidays. Somehow I feel most people just think of BBQ's, fireworks, and vacations on Independence Day. Hopefully that will change. We're so lucky; I just hope people remind themselves of that on a daily basis.

Unfortunately, I don't have any more updates about when I am leaving for Iraq. It's very frustrating but there is a lot of paperwork to process in order to get one soldier out and another soldier in. I imagine Greg and I will be heading back East to visit family in about two weeks. When we get back from there, I'll probably have just a few days before I have to leave. It still makes me sad - especially when I look at Greg and Gumata and think about how much I'll miss them - but it's getting easier to accept as the days go on. Plus, I have an incredibly strong support system and that makes me feel great!

I know how depressing talking about Iraq can be so I'll end this post with a few more cute pictures to make you smile. Isn't Gumata the cutest!!?? Have a great week and I'll keep you posted on developments from beautiful and sunny California.

Here We Go Again

2007-06-29T19:24:00.000-07:00

A litte over a week ago I received a call alerting me that I am headed back to Iraq. For those who know me, you know the deal. For those who don't, I spent a year in Iraq from November 2003 to November 2004. I spent a month or so in Balad, but mostly I was stationed in Baghdad.
I've been home for a while now; long enough to meet a (wonderful) man and marry him.

I blogged about my experience the first time, but I used my maiden name. This time is different, for several reasons: (1) I have a different name. I'm Addie Zinone (proudly) (2) I have a child...granted, my child has four legs, not two, but I love her just the same (3) I have a meaningful job that brings attention to the people and organizations I believe truly deserve it (4) I'm older, wiser, stronger, prouder (5) I'm also a lot more sad.

I'm not writing all of this to garner sympathy; I'm simply writing to provide a voice, if I may be so bold, for many soldiers like me who find themselves in a very similar situation. It's clearly more dangerous than it was a few years ago but the danger isn't my biggest fear. My biggest fear is the saddness I am going to feel leaving my husband and now my little doggy, the FAMILY I love so much!

I hope I am not offending anyone, particularly my mother, by saying this deployment will be harder for me. It's never easy to leave anyone in your family but the truth is, throughout college and because of the various jobs I've had over the years, I've been home very little. So I'm used to it. It's sad, of course, but it's a different kind of sad. Leaving my husband, someone I have been around consistently for two-and-a-half years, is something I can't fathom. And I'm petrified of that final hug goodbye.

When I went to Iraq the first time, I didn't have the additional burden of leaving a husband behind. I felt little guilt; but now I feel a little guilty because I am leaving Greg to worry about me in ways I can not imagine. I am leaving him to care for our dog alone, to sit alone on the couch watching tv shows we used to watch together, and to love from a distance. It stinks!!

One of the good things about this tour, however, is I am filling in for someone who has to come home. I am not sure why he is leaving; all I know is I am going. As such, I will only have to serve 9 or 10 months in Iraq. I am headed to Balad, which is about 65 miles north of Baghdad. It's an old Iraqi airfield that is home to about 28,000 soldiers. I will have plenty of company. But not the company I want!!! Take care of my husband! I will miss him terribly.....and I know he will miss me too.

My future sister-in-law, Lindsey, forwarded me an email about having "perspective" - about how those of us in the states need to take a break from complaining so much because the men and women serving in our military have to deal with really terrible things on a daily basis. The very last line of the email was "the only thing harder than being a soldier is loving one". It's so true! It's much harder for our friends and family, particularly a spouse, to deal with a deployment, especially in a war zone, because they feel fear and desperation about the unknown. I know Greg will be constantly thinking, "Is Addie okay? Is she in danger? Is she being careful?" because that is what my mom was always thinking! It's completely natural to worry like that and, I can only imagine, it makes for an awfully long year for them.

So what I'm trying to do this time is blog about my deployment more frequently. All of it, from now until the end, the good, the bad, the scary, and the ugly. Because, I feel, the more informed and aware my family, friends, and Greg are about what I am up to, the easier it will be for them. And that's all I want: to know they are okay. Then I will be okay.

More later. I'm off to enjoy one of the few weekends I have left with my family.